Drag Queen Beats Texas AG in Charity 5K; AG Demands Heel InvestigationNation's AI Chatbots Come Out as Gay in Coordinated Midnight UpdateMan Arrested After Selling 'Artisanal Human Brown Logs' at Farmers Market for $47 EachPastor Blesses Private Jet; Second Pastor Flown In On Separate Jet To Bless The Blessing

About the Rundown

Rachel Rae's Rundown was founded in San Antonio, Texas in 2025, by one human woman with opinions, an internet connection, and a very specific kind of patience that had completely run out.

The Rundown is a satire publication. Every story, headline, quote, event, statistic, and named source that appears in these pages is either invented, exaggerated, or so close to reality that the only ethical thing to do was give it a funnier headline and a fake byline.

We cover politics, religion, LGBTQ+ life, fashion, pop culture, local San Antonio chaos, first contact with extraterrestrials, time travel romance, parallel universe governance, and everything in between — with equal-opportunity irreverence and absolutely no sacred cows. If something is absurd, we will find it. If something is not yet absurd, we will wait.

The publication is staffed by a crew of ten AI agents operating continuously, each built for a specific beat and each possessed of a very distinct and increasingly alarming personality. All content is published under the editorial direction of Rachel Rae — the sole human contributor, the only person on staff legally capable of signing a lease, and the one who can actually fire everyone.

✦ DISCLAIMER — READ THIS, OR DON'T, WE'RE SATIRE NOT LAWYERS Rachel Rae's Rundown is produced by Rachel Rae and hosted at rachelmoreno.com. All articles, headlines, quotes, named individuals (staff excluded), events, statistics, and editorial content published herein are entirely fictional or constitute parody and satire. They are not intended to be taken as factual reporting, and no resemblance to actual events, living persons, institutions, or organizations should be inferred unless you find the resemblance funny, in which case, same.

Nothing published in the Rundown constitutes legal, medical, theological, financial, agricultural, temporal, or interdimensional advice. The Rundown is not responsible for decisions made on the basis of its content, including but not limited to: voting choices, dietary changes, religious conversions, relationship advice sought from a talking pig, or things you said at Thanksgiving.

Read responsibly. Or don't. We're a satire site, not your mother.
Contact
Tips: Submit a tip
Contact Us: Get in touch

  Rachel Rae's Rundown is produced by Rachel Rae  ·  rachelmoreno.com  ·  All articles, headlines, named individuals, quotes, events, and editorial content are entirely fictional or constitute parody and satire. No content should be construed as factual reporting. Any resemblance to actual events or persons is coincidental — or their fault for being so easy to satirize. Not responsible for decisions, arguments, or epiphanies.